Disaster.

Since the day you went away, little by little, stuff that reminds me of you went away too.

Like my old room that you help me paint.

I've moved.

Like the only food that you introduce to me.

I had food poisoning eating it and now I can't even think about it.

Like the Iphone 3 we used.

I am now using 4.

Like the acer laptop is using your name as the password.

I am now loving my new Mac.

Like the card I used to use to pay for expensive food when we go out with my brother.

I now use a better card.

Anyway, it is too many to list down.

but the point here is.

Whatever reminds me of you is now gone. Most of the things just got better. And I am so grateful that from that point my life is changing and I was blessed with so many happy and awesome stuff which I could never ever imagine. It might not be the best, but it is better than what I had before. Everything you gave me turns to be a disaster, even you are a disaster yourself.

And theres only one thing that is still with me, my car.

Which is now in the workshop and has a lot of problem.

The last thing that reminds me of you.

With a new year coming. I really hope by the end of this 2011, there will be nothing that could remind me of you.

You are just a one night nightmare to me, and God has open up my eyes to see reality. And for now, Reality seems to be way way better.

I hope with 2011, everything will be better and awesome !!

Yayyyy me,

EffieB.

Its Over.

Well. tomorrow is the day, its officially over. I mean the end, there will be a FULLSTOP. Not that theres none before. But this is the final one. It really is the end, and whatever happens tomorrow is just it. No turning back, and nothing will change after that. You'll be you and I'll be me.

Yes, I was thinking about you the whole week, not just for the whole day. But I've given up long before this, when you said its over. I gave up on you and us, not that tomorrow would mean anything to me. I feel the same about you. And never will I let my guards down just because tomorrow happen. I might not be progressing but I ain't falling either right ? So I am fine with what I am now.

I was not taught by mama & ayah to hate or to judge people as what they seems, everyone deserves a second chance. And I don't hate for things that are happening right now, I am glad it happens and I hope I'll have a better life. And you'll live a happy life, you know like those in fairytales and stuff.

So.

Congratulations and Selamat Pengantin Baru.

Sincerely,

EffieBerry.

Every ending is a new beginning.

My holiday wish-list.

This is my wish-list for the holiday.

GET READY FOR 2011

VISIT INDIA

REGISTER FOR ORGAN DONATION

DONATE BLOOD

HELP IN RAISING AWARENESS ON BREAST CANCER !

when you know things will never be the same again.

Hi. My name is Effa.

See I am green, big, scary and obviously I have more than 6 pax (: * guys envy me a lot *

I used to be a fat and plump girl.

but

In this modern era, you can't be fat and plump to go through life, so I decided to change and be the new me.

Love it or hate it. This is the new me.

Ohh, don't be scared to say hi. cause I won't bite.

Love.

EffieBerryHulk

Kuat

Effa. Jadi kuat.

Keep yourself together.

You've been through almost 6 months on your own. You can do it!

You've did it once, and you can do it again.

Tadaaa

Today, I realize one thing !

I really really like you. and I really think that you are worth it.

AND

I actually think that you are worth my time and I would do anything to have you.

OMG!

You are awesome.

And I am bending my rules for you ! What have you done to me ? You see how worth it you are ! OMG. OMG. OMG.

xx,

EffieB.

Lupa

Its funny when you feel left behind, or forgotten by people whom you always remember.

Maybe its not funny actually, its sad.

But yeah, it happens. To everyone even the "winners" and of course for "losers" too.

I guess I'll have to cope with it right ?

Anyhow, right now I'm trying not to depend on people much.

One day, I'll have to go through stuff alone right ?

or maybe someday I might have to go through stuff alone.

But for now, I am still glad theres people who still cares and remembers me.

And people who didn't change even after they have a boyfriend.

Thank you so much guys.

love this

I quote this from a friend of mine

" when you truly start loving yourself, suddenly anything less than the best doesn't look so good. " - Adlina

Its just so freaking true. SERIOUSLY.

wondering

Sometimes when people do bad stuff to us or when i am facing someone inconsiderate

I just wonder.

What do you feel when you do that ?

Whats in his/her head right now ?

What are they thinking ?

How could they even do that ?

What is wrong with this people ?

and the one question that I always ask myself is

HOW DID YOU EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO HURT SOMEONE LIKE THAT ?

I understand that sometimes theres certain things that is beyond our control, but still. when things have to come to an end. those who left or is letting go. it won't hurt you to say you are sorry that things have to end. With just 3 words you can help to heal somebody. saying sorry won't kill you and your ego. I wonder why is it so hard for certain people to say sorry because you think you are better than those who you left or hurt ? or is it because you think that you are not doing something bad here and those people you left or hurt deserve to be treat that way ? Is that why ? Well I don't think anyone can answer my question except for those people who left and hurt people without saying sorry. Its the least you could do.

but then reality check.

Maybe I've done it before. Well of course I did, but I think I did say Im sorry. ANYHOW. For those I've hurt intentionally or not. I AM SOOOO SORRY, maybe theres just things that are not working out really well. But thinking of it. Everyone whom I left, is a friend of mine now because I hate ending things with someone badly. Everyone deserve to know and be treated right even after what they have done kann ?

I am so touched with what a friend of mine told me. No one can be perfect and everyone is different. and for that is why she is my best friend forever, because she'll be with me through thick and thin in life. Shes always there to comfort me, she might not be the best advisor, but she will always be an angel to me.

'

life isnt full of shit. life IS shit.

sumone said to me.. human, they cant be perfect.. not sure if it has sumthing to do wif wat u r saying but it might be useful at time.

hmmm.. act im not sure if im d right person to ask for advices. but i'll do anythg i cud becos u r my fren. the best indeed. babe, pleasing people's heart were never easy. its too complicated to understand. but it doesnt mean that u dont have a heart. . u do have. a good one. d one that got hurt but never hurt back. d heart dat gives too much without taking.. n u knw wat..? not evry person in this earh has a heart like urs. but i do know one person. :)
if he cant see that in u.. he is damn blind. too blind to see what he had done to u..

ur stories remind me of myself. i might be d blindest person on earth.. but still eventho we r humans, we arent d same..so that makes me diff from him. evry single human is special on their own way.. believe in urself. sumhow sumday sumone will see u so special that he cant even take his eyes off u.

and dats when u will love ur life. u will love everything. u will love it. n u will know that it is okay to be wrong.

"Follow your heart; even though it's on your left, it's always right ♥" :)' (Ainul,2010)

Can't Wait ! X)

Raya Puasa destination : ISTANBUL, TURKEY !

One thing that can keep my mind healthy and happy. haha. Think about all the places and food that I can eat there, and how fun it would be.

Raya Haji destination : Probably Singapore, UNIVERSAL STUDIO X)

But not confirm yet, but still. I just hope it came true. Tee Hee.

Thank You Ayah & Mama. I love you truckloads.

Im a pussy.

Lets not talk about something dirty here. Alrightt ? HAHA

Yesterday, i was having so much fun reading magazines and all. and I found this quiz in CLEO May 2010. The quiz is about; HOW GUTSY ARE YOU ?

And yes ! I'm a wimp. hah. I stand aside like a wimpy wallflower ! X)

My score was brilliant ? So NOT ! here is some part of it :

" The fact is gal, if you don't ever do what you want or say what you mean, you'll end up bitter and full of regrets. Who wants their motto to be 'if only' ? "

I know, I know. Sometimes i am so used to feeding everyone else's happiness. HEHE. This quiz gave me a whole new thing to improve on. HAVE SOME GUTS ! :DD

Ohh, and here are some tips they left for me :

1. If you don't ask you don't get.

2. Don't say yes if you mean no.

3. Never let self-consciousness stop you doing something-people are more interested in their own lives than what you're getting up to.

4. If you act like a doormat, you'll get treated like one.

5. You're as good as anyone else so never let someone's superior attitude make you feel insecure.

6. Don't just talk about it, do it - whether it's bungee jumping or asking a boy for a date.

7. Stand up for your principles, even if you rock the boat.

8. Be tough enough to accept criticism and learn from it.

Its useful, especially FOR ME. tee hee.