Sorry

MAMA, I am sorry if i am a disappointment.

I know I am suppose to give you good news.

And make you feel happy and proud.

And I failed to do so.

Every little thing you ask me to do, I always let you down.

and i am so sorry for that.

I promise you ma, I'll do better next semester.

I'll try harder, and I won't let some jackass guy distract me.

and you have my words ma.

I promise to not let you down anymore.

still.

I feel so glad and happy. Even though it is not as good as the others, but at least i knew i did my best and i am so thankful to Allah All Mighty for the strength HE gave to me. and I think I went through a lot this time. and HE help me to go through all this, even after what I've done, all my wrongdoings. Alhamdulillah. (: But I know we can't settle for less, when you can get more, right ? So I will have to work hard next semester so that I can make my parents proud of me.

AYAH & MAMA. I am so sorry, I know I am such a disappointment but I'll keep on trying.

Glad

I am glad that i finally feel normal.

Like the ordinary days.

And I love this feeling, it feels like even anywhere I go, theres always someone wtih me (:

And I thank all this bitches here that make me feel so wonderful and help me to be back on track !

BUT.

the one thing that is not complete is

at the end of a very tiring day, it would be nice to know that somewhere on this earth theres one person that is waiting on the other line to just listen to what you've went through today and all the small things that happen in life just to share. (:

MAYBE.

I'll make it through all this feeling of incomplete. Maybe i should start writing in a diary, at least I could share with something what I did today and what I went through.

X)

P/S : To everyone, good luck for the results tomorrow. Hope everyone pass with flying colours, including me of course.

Adios.

wondering

Sometimes when people do bad stuff to us or when i am facing someone inconsiderate

I just wonder.

What do you feel when you do that ?

Whats in his/her head right now ?

What are they thinking ?

How could they even do that ?

What is wrong with this people ?

and the one question that I always ask myself is

HOW DID YOU EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO HURT SOMEONE LIKE THAT ?

I understand that sometimes theres certain things that is beyond our control, but still. when things have to come to an end. those who left or is letting go. it won't hurt you to say you are sorry that things have to end. With just 3 words you can help to heal somebody. saying sorry won't kill you and your ego. I wonder why is it so hard for certain people to say sorry because you think you are better than those who you left or hurt ? or is it because you think that you are not doing something bad here and those people you left or hurt deserve to be treat that way ? Is that why ? Well I don't think anyone can answer my question except for those people who left and hurt people without saying sorry. Its the least you could do.

but then reality check.

Maybe I've done it before. Well of course I did, but I think I did say Im sorry. ANYHOW. For those I've hurt intentionally or not. I AM SOOOO SORRY, maybe theres just things that are not working out really well. But thinking of it. Everyone whom I left, is a friend of mine now because I hate ending things with someone badly. Everyone deserve to know and be treated right even after what they have done kann ?

I am so touched with what a friend of mine told me. No one can be perfect and everyone is different. and for that is why she is my best friend forever, because she'll be with me through thick and thin in life. Shes always there to comfort me, she might not be the best advisor, but she will always be an angel to me.

'

life isnt full of shit. life IS shit.

sumone said to me.. human, they cant be perfect.. not sure if it has sumthing to do wif wat u r saying but it might be useful at time.

hmmm.. act im not sure if im d right person to ask for advices. but i'll do anythg i cud becos u r my fren. the best indeed. babe, pleasing people's heart were never easy. its too complicated to understand. but it doesnt mean that u dont have a heart. . u do have. a good one. d one that got hurt but never hurt back. d heart dat gives too much without taking.. n u knw wat..? not evry person in this earh has a heart like urs. but i do know one person. :)
if he cant see that in u.. he is damn blind. too blind to see what he had done to u..

ur stories remind me of myself. i might be d blindest person on earth.. but still eventho we r humans, we arent d same..so that makes me diff from him. evry single human is special on their own way.. believe in urself. sumhow sumday sumone will see u so special that he cant even take his eyes off u.

and dats when u will love ur life. u will love everything. u will love it. n u will know that it is okay to be wrong.

"Follow your heart; even though it's on your left, it's always right ♥" :)' (Ainul,2010)

Choices

In life. Sometimes you have to choose. and mine. I've made mine.

I am saying GOODBYE.

to you.

Ive consider everything, and still this is the only thing I can do right now.

Senyumlah.

Senyumlah dikala gembira, kerana itulah sebaik-baik utusan yang menggambarkan ketenangan hati

Senyumlah dikala duka, kerana itulah yang menggambarkan kerelaan hati menempuh dugaan Allah

Kesabaran yang disertai iman kepada Allah akan membawa kemenangan.

Can't Wait ! X)

Raya Puasa destination : ISTANBUL, TURKEY !

One thing that can keep my mind healthy and happy. haha. Think about all the places and food that I can eat there, and how fun it would be.

Raya Haji destination : Probably Singapore, UNIVERSAL STUDIO X)

But not confirm yet, but still. I just hope it came true. Tee Hee.

Thank You Ayah & Mama. I love you truckloads.

Smile.

I am so use to faking a smile.

and NOW

Its like a part of me.

Forgive me for my fakeness, but I'll soon find a remedy for it.

(: