Thursday, September 30, 2010

Part 4, 2010 BLS

This semester is hell. Every semester, things are getting harder. of course it would right ? but the thing is. I don't think I could even have my own time this semester. I rarely go out and watch movies anymore. Most of the time I am in front of my laptop doing assignments emailing presentation and essays to people. Gosh, I really wish that I could spend some time alone, go bake, or read novels or donate blood. okay, sounds weird. but yes I had fun doing it. Theres so many things in my to do list, that I haven't got time to do.

Anyway. today would be one of the day that I might look back and say. I'm glad I did it. you know why ? Cause I realize that he is happy, and one part of me is glad that he is happy. FINALLY. I am accepting reality as what it is. and able to smile on it. Even tho this week had been really tough for me. Being naive and lie-able is not cool, but when people lie to me indirectly * they didn't really lie but they keep the truth from me * yes to tell you the truth, it hurts. and i can hardly breath when i realize that. but most importantly, i have to always remember, they did it for a reason. because they care too much about me, and they don't want me to be far from them. but at the same time, they don't know what they want in life. Neither do i. But if life makes me choose, i know who and what i want. but pity them, they don't. I'm glad that I am not so-attached to these people who conceal the truth, because if not I know, I'll be devastated again. And just fyi, I am not mad at these people, they make me realize something, that they are not worth it. And I am really really glad that HE showed me this before its too late. (: Alhamdulillah.

Someday. Somewhere. I know and I believe that the sun will come and brighten my life. and all this things that are currently happening to me will finally make sense at that time. (: Insya-Allah.


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

This Is what I hope for.

I'm not broken at all after what I saw just now,


I promise myself that in any way, I will not hurt him.

Not even a little, and I am fine if he hurts me.

Cause I deserve it.

I deserve to be hurt.

And I am fine with it.

Thank You.


I'm okay.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

it is as simple as this


Maybe I should put this feeling aside.

So I believe,

I'll just let it be. I just don't want to get hurt again.

Friday, September 24, 2010


I've been really busy lately, and I didn't have the chance to update my blog. Next week will be hectic or even the worst week ever ! so many important things to do. I WISH I'LL HAVE 27 HOURS IN A DAY NEXT WEEK ! If only I found the Aladdin lamp back in Istanbul. *sigh*

So many things are happening right now. But i promise i'll spill everything once all my works are done !

Saturday, September 4, 2010

love this

I quote this from a friend of mine

" when you truly start loving yourself, suddenly anything less than the best doesn't look so good. " - Adlina

Its just so freaking true. SERIOUSLY.