Saturday, November 27, 2010

My holiday promises results.

I promise to do a few things this holidays, but it seems so impossible to do anything.

1. I can't plan for 2011 cause I don't know whether I am going to pass all the subjects or not, its devastating to think about it. or maybe ridiculous. I don't know. but I am awfully scared right now.

2. Some plans have to be cancel due to some technical problem and maybe because of human error too.

3. I've been to busy doing stuff. Like my practical. I never thought it would be so freaking hard. but it is actually. It is very very very hard indeed. And I don't even have time for myself or my friend anymore. And I get all cranky after work. lol.

4. My defense mechanism is now dominating my whole life. I don't feel like interacting with people. So I actually hate facebook except for the games. Haha. So I login to play game then I logout. And I hate to pick up calls, except if i think it is urgent. I hate to reply text unless I know I need to reply it. I don't give a damn anymore about my phone. On or Off. It is just the same. So if some people can't reach me thru my phone. Call anybody else you know. (: Sorry.

However, I am always trying to do things that I've planned tho. (:


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Its Over.

Well. tomorrow is the day, its officially over. I mean the end, there will be a FULLSTOP. Not that theres none before. But this is the final one. It really is the end, and whatever happens tomorrow is just it. No turning back, and nothing will change after that. You'll be you and I'll be me.

Yes, I was thinking about you the whole week, not just for the whole day. But I've given up long before this, when you said its over. I gave up on you and us, not that tomorrow would mean anything to me. I feel the same about you. And never will I let my guards down just because tomorrow happen. I might not be progressing but I ain't falling either right ? So I am fine with what I am now.

I was not taught by mama & ayah to hate or to judge people as what they seems, everyone deserves a second chance. And I don't hate for things that are happening right now, I am glad it happens and I hope I'll have a better life. And you'll live a happy life, you know like those in fairytales and stuff.

Congratulations and Selamat Pengantin Baru.


Every ending is a new beginning.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Promises are made to be kept.

I've promise so many things in this blog.

Like to tell everything that happen to me

Posting pictures of my new house

Etc Etc Etc


I don't have enough time to do anything.

Not even for myself.

Or for my family.

Maybe after finals, before I start my practical.

One day. I want to be someone who kept their promises.




Followers. Funny story.

I always wonder, how do people have all this followers, some have thousands and some have hundreds and some have countable numbers of followers. Then it occurs to me, maybe i have less followers because my blog is not exciting enough for people to read since it is mostly about my emotion issues and boyfriend issues, you know all those common stuff. but mostly my blog is about me. HAHA.

Then when my sister starts blogging I wonder how many followers will she have ? And up to now, she has 7, and she had only posted like 3 things. And my ex boyfriend he has probably around 11 or so, but he only wrote all this funny stuff about computers and I don't know some weird stuff. Haha. So I wonder, why so little ? Maybe I should do something more. Hmmm.


Going back to why I have a blog, it is not to tell the whole world about my life, about what I went through or where I went. It is just a place for me to vent my emotions, things that sometimes I could not say it to people directly, or something that is so small but i just feel like writing. I like writing. a lot. especially when I have all this emotions inside me, writing is one of the way I let it out, instead of telling it to people, or sharing it with someone else. And that is why sometimes my post is vague or confusing or has all this stupid mistakes, cause when I wrote it, I am not stable. Haha. So I don't mind having 4 followers because I don't want people to read it anyway. I just need this blog so that I can share all those sorrow and happiness with myself. And this blog is the one thing that remind me of things that had happen through out this years, what I've been through. It is the place that I keep track of my mistakes and the corrections I've made, and also my progress.


When I write stuff here, I know people will read it, my followers or some strange people who came upon it by accident. Haha. So I only write stuff here that can vent like three quarter of what I have inside me, because I know people will be reading this. but if I write it on a piece of paper, I'll write everything, and that piece of paper is not safe. someone might read it if they found it or whatever that can happen to that paper right.

Basically this is why I have a blog. To write stuff. Anything.